Good Times

Work
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11:08 am
Monday, August 22, 2005

Good Times

This past week and weekend have been great. So fun that I've lost the sense of when I did what, or where but the fact remains: fun was had.

This morning I had another Good Times experience, in a manner of speaking. I finally faced the fear and put myself back in therapy. Oh so scary. As Eric so candidly pointed out, we do have one of the best counseling centers/systems because of, well the fucked-upness that this school fosters. But that's a double edged sword. I don't know anyone directly to whom this has happened, but it's well know that the Student Counseling Center (Scc) can fuck with your shit. Declare you mentally unfit, bar your ability to go to class, force meds on you, keep in therapy when you feel you're done, etc etc. Am I worried about these things? Yes, most definately. Am I hoping that the good out weighs the bad? Yes.

The intake session today went well. I met with the man who is now my therapist and told him a little about my head. He thinks I just have a pretty serious anxiety disorder, but he isn't sure about the mania/bi-polar. In the same breath reminding me that he's a psychologist, not a psyciatrist. So, I'm meetting with a psychiatrist on Thursday for a meds evaluation. Good times?

As Alii and I have talked about many times before: we're never going to go through all this initial bullshit when we're actually flipping our shit. All I can do is set this up now, start developing a reltionship with John, and have that resource there next time I feel the planet slip.

Since I am so superly okay right now, I feel that I didn't do my head justice explaining it. How do you tell someone that the edges of my world rattle and glow red and yellow sometimes? How do you tell them about uncontrollable figeting, racing thoughts, then hours of comatose? Especially someone you just met, at 8:00 o'clock in the goddamn AM? Oh, and it's only Monday.

But all's well and good. I'm going to sushi tonight with a herd of people to celebrate Alii and Katherine's triumphant return from the NC. Then Thursday, Jeremy and I are taking in some theater, possibly a movie in the park Tuesday. Hippie Fest this weekend. Hooray! Good times indeed.