Sleep is for the Weak

My Room
Phish
Red Bull
Vivrin
NO SLEEP
Oh French Quizes to Study for
Oh Socio. papers to finish, even with the extension
Sleep is for the Weak!
3:31 am
Friday, May 13, 2005

Goddamn! I think I may have become incapable of doing work when I should. Am I to the point that I can only work under extreme durress? That's sick, but I wouldn't put it past me.

Oh sleep! I'm past that point now. Oh the red bull singing in my viens! I was supposed to finish my paper today, but instead I met with Tom, a guy I met at Evan's birthday party, and we talked about math, High Fantasy, and TAs. I told myself I'd only talk with him for 30 minutes, but he's so cool . . . 2 Hours later, my paper is the same as it was three days ago.

Turns out I'm supposed to watch TWO french movies this quarter and talk about them. I think I'm going to bust out the movie reviews I wrote for French during my first year, and use one of them. I'll watch ONE movie, but two is a little much. Especially since I'm just now realising this, so late in the quarter. It's my fault, but still. That means I'll earn a bajillion points for the final activitie de votre choix, which we all know I need. I wonder if I can make up quizes? Marie and I talked about this today: with the way this quarter has gone, French becaeme the least of my priorities. I'm going to Paris, I speak French well, so learning all this grammer, going to class, and such has been the aspect of my academic life that's fallen to the wayside. Which is sad. Too little too late? I think I can pull out with a B. If I do better then I did last quarter, (aka, getting a B) then I'll feel like I'm not a total fuck-up.

But honestly speaking, I feel that this has been my most productive quarter. So maybe my grades aren't going to be the hottest, but I've taken so many steps as a human being this quarter, that I think that's okay. I've taken classes, academic classes, that interest me, and enjoyed them. I've got an apartment. I stage managed this play. I interviewed and found a fantabulous internship. I didn't sleep much. But generally, I made steps towards being a real person. I made fabulous friends that I'll keep always. I'm going to Paris. I need to focus on all that I've accomplished, and not so much on what slipped through the cracks. Maybe I'll have the guts to be like Alii and not look at my grades until much after the fact.

Oh, all this caffine is horrible for my back. I'm scared to get the MRI -- not just because of what it'll say, but because of the whole process. Jeremy said he'd come with me -- I may make him sing to me.

I'm going to write my paper for a bit. I'm aiming for two hours of sleep tonight. Good God.