Weekend 'O My Birthday

Drinking Coffee
Little bit of Wake and Bake
About to go to Class
It's FREAKIN' Cold Out!
9:57 am
Monday, January 17, 2005
Happy Birthday Sean

Weekend 'O My Birthday

This wasa the weekend of me, and may I say, it was amazing. To recap. . .

Thursday, since the original symphony plans were bust, I once again, spent my birthday evening at House of Sushi and Noodles. It was tasty, there were mounds of sushi, and people I love. I found it highly entertaining that the people who shared my birthday this year, not a one of them were present for last years festivities. Afer sushi, we, like the cool people we are, watched West Wing. I got the third season in the mail on my birthday -- hooray for the postal system. It was a nice, relaxed birthday, since it was a Thursday, and we all had class and such. Someone somewhere be proud of me: I had two drinks, as opposed to spliting a 30 pack, par last year.


Friday, was amaszing. Ayse bought me the nicest little birthday present, and just like "Pulp Fiction," we went dancing. Turkish Cuisine and Bakery = Yummy. Turns out, they have a belly dance on Fridays. She eventually came over to our table, and to the delight of our friends, Alii and I joined her and belly danced a bit. It was kinda hillarious, actually. She turns to us and goes "Do you know this song?" I want you imagine this music for a second -- think the worst, cheapest disco in the 80's + Two Turkish dudes jamming on the keyboards + snatches of horrible pop songs. Needless to say, it was fabulous. We told the lovely belly dancer that we, Alii and I, were in fact in a belly dancing troop. I think she got a kick out of that. There were two other birthday parties present, and there was dancing, dancing. Some of the waiters actually broke out a video camera and captured it all. It's odd to think that my birthday festivities are now a part of someone's home video forever. Basically, the owners of the restaurant played songs for me, gave me free dessert, and made a giant spectacle of me. And let's be honest -- that's all I ever really want for my birthday.

Saturday, Matt took me to the Symphony. It was fantastic. Handle, Bartok. Joy joy joy. I feel down though. Yup. All dressed up, Matt in his "I'm so good looking, don't you want to let me into med school" suit, and I fall up the stairs. It takes skill to fall up stairs, may I point out. We saw the most amazing lady too. (Amazing = odd) She was at least 75, but she was still rockin' it. Leather pants, sequined top, long blond wig, tons of botox, and of course sunglasses indoors. I was in love, and Matt was shocked and dismayed.

The only problem with going out and being adults of the evening is that eventually we had to come home and take care of the kids. Emmie and Kenneth had decided that filtering vodka through a Brita was the way to go, and the first things they said to us both was "Sorry we're soo drunk." It was odd. Kenneth again came and cried in my room, and I of course had to deal with that. And I was sober, might I just add.

He told me that he feels that I constantly negatively judge him.
He told me no one here knows him.
He told me all I do is critice him.

I was quite crushed. I pointed out the fact that I had never judged him. Had I, he probably wouldn't be sleeping in my bed every night, and the reason that no one here knows him, is because he won't let anyone in, me included. The reason I call him nieve freshman (beside it being the truth) is that that is only thing he ever lets anyone see. If he's more then that, then bring it on, but don't blame me for making the best of what I'm given. As to criticising him, I had to calmly explain that people have differing opinions, and just because I don't always agree with what he thinks doesn't mean that I invalidate his opinion.

Why God, oh why am I dating a first year?
This has to end.

I'm tried of cajoling, comforting, and coddling him, while in the meantime, I have no chance of finding a real relationship with some substance.

He truely hurt me feelings because, A) I think he's way off base and projecting his own issues onto me, which is never cool, and B) she is like that.

This has to end. I see that now. The next morning, i woke up and was quite upset and his previous nights statements. Confused and scared, he fled to brunch, leaving me to cry alone in bed. My back was so bad yesterday that I left that warm place only 4 times.

That's a deal breaker: of all people, he should have been the one to stay there and comfort me, regardless of if he had any idea as to what specifically was wrong. But, he left. And I won't stand for that. Is it just me, or does it seem reasonable to think that the man (ah, maybe that's my problem) I'm with should be first in line to hold my hand? That we should be able to get through things together without personal attacks? Sean left, and I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who won't stay for the hard times.

This has to end.