Almost Christmas . . . Yecch

Boo Christmas
I’m soo not in the Mood
Watching West Wing
Smoking
Trying to Finish up some Paintings
Going to Steph’s?
11:30 am
December 24, 2004

Almost Christmas. . Yecch.

The time of brotherly love, goodwill towards men, and rappant commercial capitalism is upon us. Last night we went to a Christmas party, and it was lovely.

Joni and Beauford are friends of Diane’s that we know. Truly sweet sweet people. Christmas margaritas, venison sausage, dove breast, cheese spread, artichoke spread. They had a chiminera outside with chairs, and hand made shawls on every chair for all those that came out to enjoy the view, air, or lack of drunk people. Country Christmas carols, a room called the “Cowboy Room” and lots of good stories and laughter. Beauford used to be a cowboy. Real, honest to goodness bronc buster. Pretty hot right?

After that, Eric came over and we sat up late talking. It’s really nice to be completely honest with someone, someone who know you so well, and also knew you so well back in the day. We decided that we need to have transcripts of our conversations: we come up with some pretty profound shit. He agreed with me that I’ll probably end up being in a very “Dharma and Greg” relationship eventually, but that Dharma and Greg is stupid show. We of course talked of the Bi-Partisan Clash, and Tall Blond Bio-Chemists. And I think that I’ve finally come to terms with all that.

I wish Steph would call.

I’m supposed to go out to her house, and see her brand new kitchen, but she’s not picking up her phone. Her and Dan are having issues. Seems that he doesn’t fight in a way that’s at all constructive to their relationship. He just wants to make his point, and in the meantime, invalidates her feelings. He doesn’t understand that the point of fighting, at least the type of fighting that doesn’t end in hurt and dispair, is fighting over substantial issues – no things – and eventually ending. Everyone makes their feelings heard, both parties think about how the other must be feeling, and since you know each other so well, it’s not hard to do. Then we all apologize, take away what we’ve learned so we don’t mess up again, and move on with our lives. She says he does that thing where he does nice things for, supposedly because he loves her, cares about her, and that’s what you do for people you care about. But while that may be his original intent, when their fighting, he brings up all the kind acts he’s performed as of late and uses them for fodder in their battles. And that’s just not cool.

To be honest, I haven’t spoken to Dan at all, and I doubt I will, but I know Steph and I can see that she’s unhappy. And more then anything, Steph will go to any lengths to be “happy.” I see that she loves Dan, cares about him, and would like him to be a part of her life forever, but she isn’t going to join a union in which both parties will be miserable, or at least not that elusive happiness. At this point, it doesn’t appear as if he’s on the same emotional level as Steph, and she’s therefore not emotionally satisfied.

Advice was dolled out, drinks we drank, shots we downed, and we both left feeling much better and much drunker at 3:00 in the afternoon.

Hooray for country living.
Time for pie and coffee, then back to painting.

I love the way I’m acting like that’s this huge big pain in the ass. “Oh God, this sucks, I’ve got to, what? Paint all day? Fuck!”

We all know I live for this.
Hooray for country living, boo for real deadlines on my creativity.