here is better.

times, they're a changin'

hello malynne!

how is lovely vienna? i hope you all is well in our world from your perspective and that your class is going fantastic.

i'm writing because i recently went to visit my advisor to make sure i can eventually graduate and she asked me if i intended to minor in something (pick a minor, any minor). i'm not sure you remember, but we had talked last spring about looking at my transcript, doing some shifting, working on a final project, all in the hopes of learning interesting things and me possibly attaining a minor in ISHUM. i'm still very much interested in this if you are. also, it turns out i have four free class slots to learn about anything my heart desires, so this idea seems more likely to come to fruition. i know you're super busy with life, family, class, europe, etc but i'd love to start an email dialogue on all this if you're at all willing. there's also a bunch of paper work that has to be filled out, but i assume we can get to that later when (?) and if this comes to pass. ultimately, even if i don't get a minor, i've been doing a lot of interesting thinking and want to do this project anyway and would adore your help.

what i want to look at is blogging. but in a different sense then, "omg mommy bloggers are awesome look at all the pictures of their kids." the rise of one-touch publishing has given any one the ability to be an author whether in the public domain or by the soft glow of their private websites. i want to look at how this has changed not only the voice of the author but the gaze as well. who is this vast unknowable audience one blogs for? how does the comfort of anonymity change the way we write? yes, there are blogs on just about every topic known to man, but i'm interested in intra-extra-personal ones, like my own.

i'm taking a class with arnold davidson entitled, "spiritual exercises and moral perfectionism." we're reading cavell's "cities of words" as well as Foucault's "the hermeneutics of the subject." other tasty things too. besides being one of the most amazing classes ever, i think what we're working with ties into what i'm interested in. the thrust of moral perfectionism, at least after two weeks of class, is that it's a personal mission, a personal plan and commitment to knowing yourself and being true to said self in all situations. spiritual exercises has been equated with Foucault's idea of technologies of the self. what counts as spiritual exercises is a broad category, ranging from the obvious devotionals to a god to reading a book.

then, here comes blogging. besides revolutionizing the way we look at, approach, and understand writing and its relation to the author, how much of it can be seen as personal spiritual exercises? and what sort of moral guidance does one get from reading the blogs of others? i need to learn more about moral perfectionism and other philosophies that focus on personal transformations to get at this more, but it's a start. a very intriguing start.

as my own project, besides researching these things, talking about them and writing about them, i want to incorporate revamping and upgrading my own blog. i've been keeping one for almost three years now on a free webhost. i think, as part of this and also because i want to (ah! spiritual exercises!) it's time for me to buy space on a server, register my domain, archive, reformat and generally up the level of not only the web appearance but the content is well, recommitting myself to doing the type of writing that davidson's class inspires. for all this, i'm going to have a lot to learn, but i know a couple of programers who have agreed to help me to learn the technical aspects. i'm not very good at the internet, but soon soon that will all change. this part of the project i'm already working on.

so, i'd like to know if you're still willing to work with me on an ISHUM project, and if so, what you think about this one? i know we can't do that much until you get back, but i'd love to email, and would appreciate any advice, reading, etc, you want to throw my way.

again, i hope vienna is splendid. ayse is in your class. she's the oldest and dearest friend i have at the u of c. i stumbled into the dorm room of an acquaintance my freshman year, heart broken and confused, having just called off an ill-guided and worse-fated engagement to someone back home (thank god). she didn't know me at all, but gave me a hug, a drink, and a cigarette anyway, forever cementing our friendship. if you could, i don't know, tease her about being turkish for me, or berate her for smoking enough to qualify as her own small baltic nation-state i'd appreciate it. i miss her and love and am sad i can't tease her my own damn self.

thanks for reading my ramblings,

- mia

not stage fright exactly

in about two hours, i will be bearing my soul, putting it all out there, trying to make a bunch of strangers laugh in hopes of getting a slot. Auditions. The word alone makes me feel self-conscious and sub-par. i'm not saying that i am, but to feel that way is just as bad.

i'm auditioning for the barrel of monkeys theater troup. they work in public schools doing improv performances for and with kids. this is then used to help prompt creative writing. that's what i'd be doing. sweet huh? then, they take the best of what the kids write and it goes up for many a moon at the Neofuturarium. And i get paid.

yea, i want this so bad i can taste it. not only do i think i'd be pretty freakin' awesome at it, but i remember when theater freeks came to school when i was younger. they were gods. they were infinite. they were funny. i always want to be someone that younger me would be proud of. someone i would have thought was so cool, someone i would have wanted to notice me, share a moments interaction. i think me-of-the-past would be thrilled.

the question is, can i do that? i certainly hope so.

oh, and cheese was fantastic last night. yes, i jammed my face completely off. katherine as well. and more to come tonight! woot woot woot.

so, this one time

i went to texas. and it was awesome. the end.

there's a lot more to that story, but not enough time in the hours between waking and running-like-mad-to-go-print-a-reading-and-do-it-before-class time.

but! we're getting the internet on friday AT THE HOUSE (i know, gasp!) so there will be much with the updating.

but at least you forgot what this was like while i've been away, you know what i've been thinking about most this morning? the fact that i watched some simpson's with andrew and liz yesterday -- the episode where homer saves the world from a nuclear meltdown, twice. At one point, auto gets out of the bus, walks to quickie mart, HUMMING 'FRANKENSTEIN' by Phish. Yea, I crapped myself. And compulsively made andrew rewind it to make sure. then listened to the song half a dozen time. not compulsively, but because it rocks.

so, this one time

i went to texas. and it was awesome. the end.

there's a lot more to that story, but not enough time in the hours between waking and running-like-mad-to-go-print-a-reading-and-do-it-before-class time.

but! we're getting the internet on friday AT THE HOUSE (i know, gasp!) so there will be much with the updating.

but at least you forgot what this was like while i've been away, you know what i've been thinking about most this morning? the fact that i watched some simpson's with andrew and liz yesterday -- the episode where homer saves the world from a nuclear meltdown, twice. At one point, auto gets out of the bus, walks to quickie mart, HUMMING 'FRANKENSTEIN' by Phish. Yea, I crapped myself. And compulsively made andrew rewind it to make sure. then listened to the song half a dozen time. not compulsively, but because it rocks.

can't catch me

so, i've made it to texas.
in fact, i made it to tyler.
i made it to waco.
i made it to college station.

all of these almost entirely without incident.

i decide to follow eric to waco since i don't know where his new place is, leaving him with stern warnings: i will not get pulled over. if you go to fast, i will slow down. the cops and i? no so much.

we drive through chandler.
we drive through athens.
we drive through malakoff.
we drive through bellemead.
we get off the damn interstate and are mear blocks from home when eric decides to make a right. and being that we were in the far left lane, no biggie right? i swerve over, wait for the dude thats in my blind spot to slow down, get over. woot. i made it.

and then the lights come on. i almost side swiped a cop.

oh yea. did you see the stickers on this side? you got your little mag light? good. yea, those are the offensive ones. good. glad you took a look at those.

here's my license. no, that's not a current address.

(meanwhile, THANK THE GODS my goodwill bag had exploded all over Wilson. there's so much random shit in my car, that one bag full of vendable consumables won't be discovered right? or that other bag either? right?)

no sir, i can't find my proof of insurence. yes sir i have it. yes sir, i have a job. no sir, no distractions in cab of the car. i'm visiting a friend and was trying to follow him. no sir, i'm not from around here.

jesushchristBUDDAHlordsweeetmotherofGODwhatthe
fuckOMGshitASSheadinaholeFUCKINGSHIT

well, yes sir. that is a good warning. in fact those are TWO GOOD WARNINGS. well yes sir. thank you sir. i apprecaite you. you have a good night too.

you can't catch me, if you don't know what you've found.