Screw you AND Stedman too, Oprah

My Momma's House
ASS-EARLY
Why do old people not sleep? WHY?
About to go to the mall
And therefore filled with dread
10:07 am
Saturday, January 21, 2006

Screw You AND Stedman too, Oprah

I'm going to keep this short or my mom's head will pop off because she's sooo anxious for us to be on our way to the Riverview Mall. Things I didn't miss about America: malls filled with overweight unhappy people and their whiney-ass kids. But, I need a pair of jeans, so venture forth.

Things are pretty good here. It's as if by magically turning 21 Mom has decided to fully value my opinion. It's pretty sweet. We stayed up late (by her standards) and talked about who I might have been had we done ________: stayed in Dallas, been religious, been born in Tyler, etc. And for once, I din't get raging drunk as soon as I got here. I was too sleepy, but Mom helped me out there and drank two glasses of wine for my every one. You know who's a silly drunk? My mother. Not Marie PH silly, but pretty damn entertaining nonetheless.

Joseph cut out an article for me from USA Today saying that people with an MBA start out earning $88,000. He so wanted Daniel to go to Business School, but he's not suited. (He's much happy in the Yukon, scouting old Indian trials with his girlfriend. So if someone ever asks "What exactly do you do with a degree in Geography?" now you know.) I'm rather flattered that he's so excited about my future. Me? I'm going to try to make it through the quarter first hopefully. Today I need to talk to him about investing. I heart Joseph.

So, everything's all super duper family-tastic until I go to bed. After searching this entire house for a highlight (I know! ME! How on Earth did I make it here without at least 1 highlighter?) I settled into bed to read something edifying for school. But no. Instead I started reading Oprah magazine.

Guess which edition? Valentine's Day. Dr. Phil says I'm the type of woman men love, while Oprah has no idea what to do.

Then, I just laid down and cried.