General Life Update

My Room
12:36
Just woke up, lazy bum
Need coffee, cigs, among other things
Ireland this weekend, Amsterdam the next
I know, I know, but can really you blame me for going back?


General Life Update

It's been too too long since I've just unloaded my mind, taken the time to think seriously and in writing about my life. Now's the time Part of that was NaNoWriMo, part of it being moderately sick, part of it my computer's well needed sojourn to the Mac store. But now, all my excuses have fallen to the floor as I remember the times when I updated almost every day. I know I kid myself that there is anything resembling an "audience" that reads this with any sort of regularity or alacrity. If there is, I apologize for my lack of posting: sometimes you have to live life -- it demands no less! -- not write about it.

I have coffee. I have a hand rolled cig. I have pajamas, lots of homework, and appropriate music for musings. Let's begin

NaNoWriMo. Okay, so I only wrote about 2,500, which is lame by most standards. But more importantly, I not only realized but accepted and began to actualize the hidden literary wants of my soul. I want to write a book, and I found a format in which to do it. I'm going to continue to twirl my memories and current events into chapters. Not only have I received many lovely compliments and hopes for more, but it feels good to me. I have so many multi-faceted memories that deserve to be see something else but the inside of my head. Writing what I did showed me that I have areas that need work: personal descriptions, dialogue. All in all, I say NaNoWriMo was successful.

I have $16.34 in my back account. That' s in dollars so I can't even get 10 euros from the machine. My mom said she was sending me money, but I am yet to see it. Damnnit. You know what's frustrating? Not only having to ask your parents for money, but until that happens, being ass broke IN EUROPE. I've been financially independent, minus school expenses, since I was 16. To not have a job -- two for that matter -- is so disconcerting. I remember when I got my last paycheck of the summer thinking, "For the next 4 months, all I'm going to be doing is spend money, with none coming in." It floored me then, and floors me now. I want income. Maybe I secretly have a Protestant work ethic, but shit son. I may also be looking at getting another loan when I get back. When you already have $12,000 debt, what' another $10,000 right?

On that note, I'll be working at the University Community Service Center. The people that work there, that organization in general, have had a profound impact in my life. I walked in there my first year wanting to give back: there were so many people who helped me get into college, maybe I could help someone else. Not only did David Hayes personally help me find job listing, write a resume and cover letter, but took the time to get to know me personally. Who would of thought that that interaction would lead me to devote my life to service? Now, I can't imagine doing anything else. I'll only 5 hours a week for Winter Quarter, then possibly more in the Spring, but I'm glad that it's not much at first. That gives me the time to start a tutoring company at Merit, which also fails me with glee. I've worked for some poorly run tutoring companies, and being able to start my own taking the good and the not so much from my old less then stellar jobs is exciting. Creating a organization that helps children learn, get into college. What an awesome responsibility. And, I was offered a bar tending job at Jimmy's before I left. That might have been because that dude wanted to sleep with me. But then I cashed out his register for him, and I think I won him over. Alii and I will have to get all dolled up and go back and see if I can become gainfully employed. I miss the food service industry. The people, the easy cash, the havoc of it all. I need a bit of that in my life: it's the absolute best outlet for mania.

Dublin this weekend. You know what that means? IRISH WHISKEY. Oh, shit son. It's going to be ridiculous. Lauren and I realized that it's the best of both worlds: she can drink he gross dark beers, and I can drink whiskey! Oh god bless the Irish. Plus we can speak English when we're drunk. Not that we'll be able to understand the Irish accents, but that DOESN'T MATTER. Just talk to me Irish Boy, just talk. Wait, let me drink more whiskey. . .

I miss the states. I do, I do. Europe is a little to cold, to old, to settled in her ways. Consequently, I'm calmer, more introspective here under the weight of history. But that's not what I want forever. At least not yet. I want to eat a taco, hug my dad, speak English, go back to real school, cuddle with my roommate, sleep in my huge bed. Don't get me wrong, Paris and all therein has been amazing, and I know I'll be back. But there's something about home. In fact, I even miss Tyler. I haven't missed it for one solitary minute since I fled two years ago, but now I'm looking forward to the three days I'll be there at Christmas. Longer then that might lead to an untimely death. Not of me, but let someone tells me I'm going to hell for my Subversive SUV and I WILL KILL.

I'm changing my major. Philosophy. This may come as a shock to some, but in truth, it's been a long time coming. I took philosophy classes in high school, then again my first year. Coming to Paris, studying the Enlightenment again, finding myself lecturing about Rousseau to Lauren, I decided to face the facts. I've wanted to do this for a long time, so why deny it? Why fight it? Why not? I still want to save the world -- my life plans haven't changed, it's just a question of what do I want to do with the next year and a half of my life. In some ways it feels a bit selfish -- studying the theories of life of brilliant past philosophers instead of studying society with an aim to better it. Since the Summer of My Head, I've been questioning the world, not being able to accept it on surface appearances. This search for meaning as I learn to live with the possibility that any day I could Lose My Mind has lead me back to philosophy. If I want to solve the big problems, I need to learn to ask the big questions. Plus Logic classes! Classes on Reasoning! Oh joy! I'm going to attempt to swing a minor in French as well. I only need another four classes, which seems doable. And they offer lit classes in what has caused this life shift: le Lumieres. So, for the third time and fourth times, this winter I'll be studying Enlightenment philosophy in French, and English.

I have a date tonight. I went all the way to France to date a dude from Ohio. It's kinda like that time I drove 300 miles to make-out with a dude who graduated from my high school. But, he's sweet and moderately dorky, and doesn't have his shit completely together. Sounds like my type exactly, right? He's also lived here for so long that he speaks English like a Frenchman, which is quite possibly the cutest thing imaginable. And it makes me feel better about my French: it's badness is endearing, n'est pas? We were supposed to go out last night, but he thought we'd said Wednesday. I have the text message that he sent that says Tuesday, but I decided to not be my mother and forward it to him. I hate hate HATE dating. The tension, the awkwardness, the anticipation. Yuck. But it could be worth it, one day hopefully it will be worth it. I just sincerely doubt that I'm going to fall in love with someone I meet randomly at a bar -- it just insults my sense of aesthetics.

The other night, Jesse, Lauren and I hung out with Jesse's friend Heather. We were in my room, drinking, talking, etc. I decided to change the mood, and switched from whatever the hell Jesse had on to some of my favorite music: The Hudsons, Problem Song. All of a sudden, Heather freaks out. SHE KNOWS THE HUDSONS. In fact, she loves them. She heard them randomly at some party (she didn't remember who) and found some for herself. She even sent them email asking them to come to Chicago. I of course earned major cool points when I told her about the time we all got drunk at Emo's and that other time when they had a keg of Shiner. What a small musical world. Lauren: TELL THE HUDSONS! They've got loyal fans, even as far away as Paris.

And HARRY POTTER IS TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT. I know, this is not news to ya'll. I'm sure some of you have seen it multiple times by now, but you can kiss my ass. It comes out at midnight tonight here and I am so excited. And I get to see it in Paris, so there.

I called my dad last night, and I quote, "I keep watching the riot footage, because I figured I'd see you standing in the back ground, smoking a cigarette, flashing a peace sign." I love my Daddy; he knows me oh so well.