Whelmed!! Whelmed!

As I was going to bed last night, I realized that my life has suddenly, secretly, fantastically gotten way out of hand.

I have a paper that was due today at three. Yea, uh huh.
I haven't gotten past page two.
I have to have my driver's license for Scav Hunt.
I haven't been able to find it lately.
I have almost no money in my bank account.
I haven't been able to access it anyways - lost ATM card.
I have an inadequate cell phone plan.
I haven't paid my cell phone bill in two months.
I have a Heidegger midterm to write this weekend.
I haven't done the reading.
I have to present at the Student Leadership Conference this Saturday.
I haven't started working on that.

Bitch moan bitch moan whine moan bitch bitch bitch.

I know I'm a warrior, but I want to crawl in bed and cry. The anxiety rises and I . . . I . . . I know that I can deal, and that things really aren't unmanageable. But, I don't feel as if I have the faculties to do it. I'm tempted to throw myself into the Pit of Dhoom and Despair and just get it done with - it's been too long since I've flipped my shit. I'm about due. If I ask for quarter and mercy, surrender honorably, will I be spared? Or at least given leniency?

But Damnit!

Whelmed. I'm muther fuckin' whelmed folks, and let me tell you, it's lame.